I got to thinking today about whether I'm the only one who hasn't really stayed in touch with old friends, or is it inevitable that we move on from relationships that started when we were growing up?
I had a nice "chat" with someone yesterday from my graduating class that I really didn't know all that well. He messaged me while I was on Facebook, and I was genuinely surprised! We started asking each other about each other's significant others in High School, and sort of pieced our memories together from there. It was interesting to me that he and I share so many common childhood events and we didn't really know each other at that time. Then those that I DO have memories of, I not even still in touch with.
I don't think it's because I've forgotten the bonds, or that I'm uninterested, I just think we've all moved in very different directions and simply drifted away from being so important to each other. When you're in the thick of High School (and even sometimes College) it seems as if you'll NEVER be out of your friends' lives. You have this deep connection because of the activities you've shared and the perspective of youth sees it as a life-long bond. I suppose in some cases it remains untouched, but mine have definitely drifted. I think when we see someone from the past again, the bonds are still there - sometimes feeling as though no time had passed. But that's not really the same and staying involved with those friends and seeing them through all the generations of life.
Another thing I find myself thinking about is that our perception of the way others see us is different from the way they REALLY see us. I think we perceive that we, ourselves, are the only one who's aged - gotten grey - put on a few pounds - when in reality, it's our age that makes us all see the PERSON we remember, and NOT the physicality. I could care less if someone is grey-headed, bald, overweight. But somehow I don't think we give others the credit for seeing US that way. Does that make sense?
I've been afraid to connect with others from the past because of what I THINK they'll see me as - rather than perhaps what they really see in me is ME - not the physical. I need to be able to accept myself more and trust that others are interested in reconnecting with me despite how I perceive my life and situation.
What do you think? I'm wondering what others are thinking about reconnecting with old friends - or are you all already connected and I'm just not a part of it?
Until tomorrow....
I have found that I get so wrapped up in the day-to-day business of keeping the immediate family/household lurching along that there is just not much time for social interaction outside that small group. I know that is supposed to change over time, as kids get more independent and you become more relaxed and "secure" in your existence, but it's not at all like I imagined it in my 20's.
ReplyDeleteThe connection to the people you went to school with seems to narrow every time you make a choice in your life. I have come to believe that to be a matter of perception, not reality. Making choices and living with the results/consequences is THE universal connection.
OK. Off the soap box, I've been enjoying your blog. Keep it up!